Ghosted? What Is It, and Why Does It Happen?

Did you wake up to a ton of missed calls and messages from a person that you really like? Did you have an amazing date or hang out with a person that you really like, and after that, you never heard from them again? Did you have an amazing date or hang out with a person that you really like, and after that, they just don’t want to talk to you again? Did you have an amazing date or hang out with a person that you really like, and after that, they just act like you never existed?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then you may have been ghosted. If you’ve just been ghosted, you’re not alone and it’s not your fault! Even though it’s relatively rare, almost all of us will experience the painful sting of being ghosted at some point. The hardest part is that there can be no closure.

What is Ghosting?

Ghosting is when someone you’ve been casually dating or have been seeing more seriously suddenly goes radio silent on you. This is a phenomenon that happens when someone suddenly and without explanation stops all communication with you. It’s not their fault- they’re just ghosts. And sadly, you’re the ghostee: the person being left behind without warning and wondering what just happened. If you’ve ever been ghosted, you may have done some of the following: Wished you could talk to them and figure out what happened.

This can be devastating to the person being ghosted since there’s no closure, and it leaves you wondering, “What did I do wrong?” or “Did I upset them?” The truth is there could be a number of reasons why someone decides to stop all communication with you suddenly. Maybe they’ve just moved away, or are temporarily busy, or maybe they’ve met someone new.

For a lot of people, it’s an uncomfortable and nerve-wracking experience. No matter the reason, ghosting leaves unwanted questions in its wake. Learning these reasons can help you better prepare yourself for when it happens to you.

Why Does It Happen?

During the dating process, it’s easy to send a “hey” message out when you see a profile that catches your eye. But if that person doesn’t write back, you may be tempted to send another message or two. When those go unanswered, it would be easy to assume that your dating profile must be flawed. No one ever wants to be ghosted or left hanging. But why does ghosting happen?

Ghosting is something everyone has probably experienced at one point or another in their dating lives. You go out on a few dates with someone, and things seem to be going well. Then, you stop hearing from them. You try sending a text and get no response. Maybe you try again, then again, but still no response. At this point, many people are confused. Why did they stop texting me? How am I supposed to respond if they can’t even be bothered to talk to me? After a few more unanswered texts, you may decide that it’s time to give up. You stop texting them and think about them less and less.

While ghosting is mostly done via text, it can also be done via phone and social media sites such as Facebook. For example, you are dating someone, and things are going well. Eventually, you hit a rough patch, and the other person decides to end things with you. Instead of calling or texting you to tell you that they want to end your relationship, the person will simply stop responding to your calls, texts, and messages.

Can You Protect Yourself from Getting Ghosted?

If you have been ghosted, you know that you feel like a fool, like an idiot, and it’s likely that you will be reluctant to put yourself in a similar situation again in the future. You’re also experiencing a big sense of loss, which is a sign that you had expectations with this relationship that aren’t being met. So, how can you protect yourself from getting ghosted?

It boils down to two things:

(1) know what the signs of an unhealthy relationship are, and (2) don’t stay in a relationship that makes you feel bad.

There are many things in this world that will hurt you, but few as painfully as being ghosted. While it’s not a new phenomenon, the act of disappearing has become a whole lot easier thanks to technology since it’s more difficult to track someone down on a computer than it is in the real world. For the record, you can totally get ghosted in the real world, too.