If you are a people pleaser, you may want to help a friend or loved one, but you are hesitant about doing it because you worry about hurting their feelings or making them feel bad. So, you may not help them out if you are afraid of their reaction. And you do not ask for help yourself because you fear sounding selfish or of being rejected. This article will show you why being a people pleaser is so damaging for relationships. Read more.
People Pleaser: Why Is It Damaging to Relationships?
So, what is wrong with being a people pleaser? The problem with being a people pleaser is that you are too concerned with what other people think about you. You become anxious when seeking other people’s approval. You are constantly looking for that approval in others. You are too worried with being liked by others.
Some of us are naturally social butterflies, while others prefer their own company. But both personalities are at risk for developing psychological problems if they are not aware of how others perceive them and how that perception affects their interactions with their friends, lovers, and colleagues.
In a relationship, tending to be a people pleaser is a major turn-off for many partners as it can make you feel as though you cannot fully, please anyone, which can lead to a lack of self-care. The people-pleaser might drain the person they love of their energy, and their drive. Being a people pleaser can cause you to neglect your own needs and may lead to a deterioration in mental and physical health as well as a lack of personal growth and a lack of a sense of self.
How Do You Stop Yourself from Being a People Pleaser?
It’s no secret that we tend to do things that we think will please others. The question is: why do we do this? When we feel the need to be liked by others, it’s red flags. When we feel the need to be seen as a good person, we may be seeking external validation. When we feel the need to be liked by our spouse, we may seek to gain their approval and try to please our partner.
You may be a people pleaser because you think that it is what people want or expect of you and that you should give it to them, bringing them joy, love, and acceptance. But it is not about what people want and expect of you, and you should not sacrifice your needs and happiness to do what they want and expect of you. You should talk to your loved ones about your needs and what you need from them, not be a people pleaser. If you do not ask for things from your loved ones and do not seek validation, you will not be a people pleaser, and you will not act selfishly.
From Pleaser to Becoming an Ally and a Lover
The best relationships are based on mutual respect and trust, and almost everyone believes that the best way to earn respect and trust is to show respect and trust back to their significant other. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. We all want to be able to be helpful and give, and we want to be able to receive and accept help and kindness. The problem with trying to force ourselves to be a people pleaser and putting others first is that we can come off as overbearing and controlling.
We all want to be liked and accepted by others. This is especially true when it comes to our romantic partners. However, when we are too nice to our partners, it ends up causing them to feel like they are not needed or that they are less important than others. If our partners start to feel like this, they’ll start to vent their frustrations on us. This can lead to fights and even breakups. The key to happiness is not to be too nice.
Sometimes it’s hard to be the kind of person who gets things off their chest, who focuses on what really matters, and who doesn’t mind being helpful. But being a good ally, friend, and love is hard, too. When you’re an ally, you don’t put your own interests first, but instead, you are kind to your friends, co-workers, spouse, family members, and others. When you’re a friend, you don’t put your own interests first, but instead, you listen to and respect your friends and the people they care about. When you’re a lover, you don’t put your own interests first, but instead, you give your love and carefreely and generously.